All For You
by iwatchsunsets2
Summary: I got in front of the room where I was supposed to speak to this group of people who would determine whether or not I should get the scholarship, but I don't know what happened. My words that I had poured over the night before suddenly didn't feel right- didn't feel true. If they really wanted to know why I wanted the scholarship, who was I to feed them crap?


**Here's an old one-shot I fixed up. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders**

**…**

I got in front of the room where I was supposed to speak to this group of people who would determine whether or not I should get the scholarship, but I don't know what happened. My words that I had poured over and memorized for hours on end the night before, they suddenly didn't feel right- didn't feel true. If they really wanted to know why I wanted the scholarship, why I needed it so badly, who was I to feed them bullshit? With a deep, steadying breath, I calmed myself and began to talk with no idea of what was spilling out of my mouth until I heard it. This scared me. I contemplating apologizing and starting over but decided that I might as well keep going. Here goes nothing.

"When I was thirteen, my parents died in a car accident," I said frankly, seeming to startle the people even more than myself. "My oldest brother took my other brother, Sodapop, and I into his custody, giving up college to raise us." Somehow, my nerves began to settle as I didn't feel like a stupid robot spurting out words like well-rounded, adaptable, and independent.

"When I was fourteen, I ran away. I was almost drowned in a fountain by someone of another social class. My friend, Johnny saved my life, even though it meant taking my attacker's," I told them honestly, hoping the lack of slang would recover the fact that I had mentioned being involved in violence between social classes. "Where we ran away to after that caught on fire a couple days in, and Johnny and I saved some kids from inside of it. When we got back home, I had a concussion which kept me unconscious for three days straight. I had watched two of my friends die in one night, ones I had known my entire life and considered family, and passed out cold.

When I was sixteen, my brother Soda got drafted. Later that same year, Darry and I received the letter that told us he was dead. Two weeks before his nineteenth birthday." I paused to swallow thickly and push the tears down. "His best friend, Steve, got addicted to heroin after following Soda into war and returning alone." The room was sober, but I felt an odd sense of power over it and the people in it. It wasn't hard to speak anymore. The words flowed easily out of my mouth as if I was talking to one of the gang.

"And now," I continued finally. "Now I'm seventeen. I graduated high school, make good grades, and am the top of my track team even though I smoke too much and it'll probably be the end of me. But, if I've learned anything in all the years I've been alive, all the things I've gone through, it's that seeing the people you love die around you… is so, so much worse than any other pain you could ever experience.

"And so my plans, the reason I go to school, study, and run as much as I possibly can, the sole purpose of my determination is success. I want to find that diamond in the rust that's my life. I want to show my brother and what's left of my friends that not all the world is so bad, and there's still hope. To quote Johnny in his last goodbye letter, 'we all still have a lot of time to make ourselves be what we want. There's still a lot of good in the world'.

"So maybe Darry won't go back to college," I admit. "Two-Bit probably won't get a job anytime soon, and Steve is far from being clean. Soda, Johnny, and Dally along with my mom and dad aren't going to come back. But for those people I still have left, who always have been and always will be there for me, I want to show them that they can do anything they set their minds to. If I go to college, thanks to this scholarship, get a job, make a life worth living for myself, then they'll see that every moment of my suffering was not in vain because it gave me the drive and determination to tell you this, to prove you that I'm deserving of this scholarship, as I have today." I finish off, giving them each one last look and small smile. "Thank you."

I bowed my head and left the room. I passed the other people waiting to go in, no doubt soon to find the people in charge with an oddly moved, slightly disturbed expression on their faces. The poor souls wouldn't know what hit 'em.

"What did you say?" Darry asked as I climbed into the truck. I had told him beforehand that it would take ten minutes tops, and it had been close to twenty by now.

"I have absolutely no idea," I replied earnestly, pulling the door shut. I could only hope that my heart spoke better than my head ever could have. If not, well, I'm in for a bumpy ride.

With a tight smile, he put it in drive, clueless to the fact that I had just spilled my life story to the people who hold my entire future in the palm of their hands. He wouldn't have believed me anyways. I'm not even sure I do, and I was the one to do it.

_One week later..._

"Pony, you've got a call," Darry said pointing behind him with his thumb out as he peeked in my doorway. I got up from my place on my bed and trudged into the living room where the hook was and scooped the phone up.

"Hello, Curtis residence," I answered blandly.

"Mr. Ponyboy Curtis?" An official sounding male voice asked. I perked up, and Darry quirked an eyebrow, asking. I held a finger up for him to wait.

"I'm calling to inform you that you have been rewarded the scholarship sponsored by Mr. Gregory Morgan for-" I didn't wait for him to finish for a grin to split across my face and I laughed disbelievingly, covering my mouth with my hand, remembering the interview and those hours spent applying, all those conversations with Darry about what we'd do if I didn't get it. It all seemed to disappear into thin air, as the weight and anticipation lifted from my mind.

"-ister Curtis," he called my attention back. Silencing myself, I replied.

"Yessir?"

"Mr. Morgan asked me to give you a message," he told me with a smile in his voice.

"Okay," I answered strangely, still smiling, my eyebrows furrowed but my eyes happy.

"Good luck." With that, I thanked him, and we said goodbye. I stood there next to the phone in a sort of state of awe. Darry looked about ready to explode waiting for me tell him what was up.

"That was Mr. Morgan's assistant," I told him lightly. "I got the scholarship." He took a second to comprehend what I had said while I wondered what he was thinking and why he wasn't responding. Then, with a booming laugh, he tackled me in a bear hug which I returned eagerly. Calming down some, panting a little from the excitement, I let go and backed up a little. Kind of embarrassedly, I looked at him and sincerely said, "Thanks, Dar." He only smirked and rubbed my hair. He thought I meant for giving up college to take care of me, and I was thankful about that, too, but, really, I was just glad to have him. I remembered Steve and Two-Bit, wondering when I would tell them, but more than the scholarship itself, I hoped they would know that it was all for them.

Johnny, Dally, Soda, Darry, Mom, Dad, Two-Bit, Steve, I thought to myself, this is for you.

**…**

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